The Baby daddy of Crazy 2009...Glenn Beck.

Congratulations Glenn Beck, you've won Crazy of the year according to Salon.com.
I agree with this win on all counts.
Tune in once to see this fat man child cry like a baby and slobber his way through an hour of fear mongering and Obama bashing and you`d agree. But I`ve noticed a lot of men like Glen walking the streets these days. Pretentious, awkward, angry men in bow ties and ripped socks with big vocabularies and sweaty palms. Name dropper's and pill poppers.
*Procreate with these guys at your own risk ladies.*

I'd like to add a few contenders that Glenn narrowly beat out...

Top 9 Crazies of 2009 (Not in any particular order of crazy)

1. Tila Tequila-this bi-tri-and dip me in STD sauce bitch is crazy.
2. Octomom-Any woman that treats her body like a baby making machine, without a gun to her head is crazy.
3. Mel Gibson- He went from being America's # 1 leading man to a drunken old bastard with 5 DUI's and 9 kids. All signs lead to crazy.
4. Tiger Woods-Cheats on hot model wife with 13 ho's + no condoms= CRAZY!
5. NBC-I am giving this crazy nomination to a whole network for putting Jay Leno in the 10pm time slot. You fuckers may be making money...but your all going to hell for taking over the tube-Crazy greedy boring uncreative men in white suits should all be pissed on.

6. Jon Gosselin-What an ugly piece of dried up dim sum this guy is.
Yet another man that goes through puberty AFTER he has a brood of monsters.
Get in line.....there's so many of you.
7. Kate Gosselin-For not shoving 6 of the 8 kids back up her the moment she found out what a douche her baby daddy was. Crazy bitches always procreate with crazy men in multiples.
8. Chris Brown-For beating up the #1 pop star in the world-and for not apologizing in time to save his career. Crazy for losing his shit. Crazy for losing his livelihood.
9. The Catholic Church-For continuing to cover up sex crimes in the church after decades of abuse. Sick crazy bastards in robes and big gold cock rings. Expose the whole lot and move on or people are going to keep turning to the Mormons for guidance.

So, who would you nominate in your neighbourhood for Crazy of the year?

If you can't think of them right away, it's probably you!!!

Now go take your hoarse pills ladies -the kids are calling for you!

Kisses and wet lesbian dreams,

Yoko Sanchez
XXX

Let it snow let it snow let it fucking snow....please.

Ok, when's it gonna snow??? Seriously.

Hopefully the sky will turn grey today and lovely white snow flakes will blanket the city.

Kisses, snowball fights and hickeys,

Yoko Sanchez

XXX

Kierkegaard and The Cunt

What will make you wish you never procreated with your wife?
What can make you say and do things you've never said or done before?
What can poisin your mind and make you risk everything just to get knee deep in it?

The Cunt.

It's been the downfall of many great men-some use their talent to sway angry crowds back-others never regain the respect and the millions of dollars they once had.

The world will be watching which category Tiger Woods fall's into.

Will he redeem himself and start winning golf tournaments like he once did -whether or not his wife, Elin stays with him?
Or will he hide under a rock for a while and let his handlers do the talking whilst still trying to get putang?

What would Kierkegaard, the father of exitentiaslism say about man's weakness for The Cunt?
Once he read the long list of great men who have fallen victim to the Cunt:
Dr. Martin Luther King, John F Kennedy, Robert Kennedy, Joe Kennedy, Morgan Freeman, Kobe Bryant, Donald Trump; David Beckham, Bobby Brown, Jude Law, Senator John Edwards, President Bill Clinton, Mel Gibson, Bono, Deepak Chopra, etc etc etc....
He would probobly say..."Fuck it. Men will never be faithful and women will never be happy."

I say, The Cunt will always win but never be satisfied.
Men-Don't get married if you love sex.

Kisses and tiger balm rubs,
Yoko Sanchez
XXX

Spam

Happy Thanksgiving America!!!

Enjoy the dark meat now....cause the white meat is a-comin' in 2012.

God help us all.

Kisses and choke holds,
Yoko Sanchez
XXX

Banning all mustard shirts in 2010.

I hate mustard shirts.
I think they should be outlawed on men.
I find the colour offensive to look at and makes me want to gag.
The irony is that every guy I’ve ever dated owned a mustard shirt.
It doesn’t matter if the guy was white, brown or tanned- I always found a mustard shirt berried somewhere in their closet-whether it was bought in 1992 or 2009.

MEN-IF YOU WEAR A MUSTARD SHIRT….

…. to a job interview, you will NOT get hired.
….on a date, you will NOT get a BJ.
….to church on Sunday, Jesus will NOT answer your prayers.
….to your divorce proceedings, you will NOT get custody of your kids.
...on the streets of Toronto, you WILL be made fun of.

I don’t need to go on…you get the idea.
Lose the fucking mustard shirt. Don’t give it to your buddy and keep the dam thing in circulation-just throw it out.

If your wearing a mustard shirt right now, then tear it off.

On behalf of all women everywhere, we thank you.

Yoko Sanchez
xxx

Dear Canada post keep your filthy paws off my letter to Santa...

My tree is up and now nothing can burst my happy bubble.
I can come home after a long day of Christmas shopping and admire its glory. I’ve decided the only good thing about being an adult during Christmas holidays is that you don’t have to visit the people you don’t like and you can put sex toys on your tree if you so choose.

I’ve written my wish list to Santa and am sending it off to the North Pole…since it’s a recession, I told him he could pick 5 out of 10.

Yoko’s Top 10 Christmas list for Santa

1. The biggest baddest suction cup dildo on the market called, “The Taliban”
2. Wonder Woman sneakers by Reebok (not the prettiest things in the world but whatever)..
3. A humungo dog bed for Tika G
4. Matching red WW silk capes for me and my pooch
5. A thousand sleeping bags, coats, mitts, hats and socks for the homeless
6. A leather whip, leather mask, ball gag, leather harness and a muzzel made of chains
7. Figure skates
8. A signed photo of a shirtless Gino Vannelli (I love chest hair)
9. A ticket for Oprah’s last show in 2011
10. Santa’s choice-whatever he wants to get me

Hope my letter doesn't get in the hands of Canada posts 'Letters to Santa' program or I might get a response back that starts with...

Dear Yoko- you dirty girl,
I know where you live now ...

Have you made your list yet girls???? Better get on it, Santa's on a budget this year.

Kisses and sloppy wet christmas spanks,

Yoko Sanchez
XXX

Line ups for loot bags and vaccine shots get ugly in the GTA....Happy Halloween!!!!!

So it looks like we’ve got a small swine flu epidemic taking over our city.
People in a panic waiting in long lines for their shots.
If they didn’t have it before they got in line-they’ll probably have it by the time they get to the front of it. Cough. Cough.

I’m going to just say NO to the H1N1 vaccine!


I have no idea what their pumping into me. I"ve heard the side effects could lead to paralysis, and or bunion growth.

I'd rather take my chances and simply not mingle with people. If I choose to fuck-we’ll wear body gloves and shower after. Like the Scientologists do.


I’m not going to let a little H1N1 dampen my Halloween weekend!
I’m going to put on my Wonder Woman costume and spend the night with my sweet senorita. We bought candy at Costco-the party packs and plan on watching scary movies tonight.
I'm excited because I found a thick piece of rope on the street the other day…I took it home, spry painted it gold and decided to make it my lasso of truth. I’m going to tie my little mami to the bed and make her watch “Drag me to Hell.” She hates scary movies.
It turns me on watching her freak out.
Does that make me evil like John Gosselin?

If your going out...wear a mask...protect the kiddies and walk with hand sanitizer and ritalin. Don't let H1N1 ruin your festivities- even if you've got it. Try to have fun in your bubble boy costume.

You can take comfort in knowing that once you've had it...you can't catch it again.
Maybe.

Happy Halloween freaks....don't come to my house..the lights will be off!!!


Yoko Sanchezzzzz
xxx